“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit,” Peter Ustinov stated. How do we develop this habit? Below are some strategies to help us live in the state of forgiveness. 
Recognizing that we are stuck in an area or finding difficulty letting go of something (that nagging in your head and heart), let’s begin with naming the event and the people involved. Don’t rush through this exercise; sit with your thoughts and emotions. Now list all of the people in that scenario for whom you feel anger or resentment. Next to each name, identify the emotions you feel for that person. Again, do not rush through, but identify as many emotions you feel with each individual. As you begin to peel away the emotional layers with each person, honor each emotion without shoving it back in. As you experience each feeling, visualize the emotion as a dandelion, white with wispy seeds. After you have fully experienced your emotions, look at the dandelion. Gently blow and watch the soft white seeds break away, leaving only the stem, and releasing your emotions on each piece of the white seeds. Feel the freedom as the pieces blow away.
Another strategy is identifying those you blame or believe have contributed to a hurtful situation. List all of those people toward whom you blame or feel anger or resentment. Do not rush through this exercise. I must admit how surprised I was the first time I did the exercise that I had to use more than one sheet of paper!
Sometimes when we think about forgiving someone, we may resist because we don’t want to subject ourselves to possible abuse or hurt from that person. Again, forgiveness does not call for abuse or for us to be doormats. We can forgive someone without ever seeing him or her again. Forgiving someone does not require us to leave the safety of our own hearts and minds. Ours is a sacred space, safe and filled with love. Setting boundaries for others and ourselves is an important step in self-love.
How do you practice the beautiful freeing practice of forgiveness? I would love to learn your wisdom.
With love,
Maria
BTW - This is an excerpt from my new book.
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